Myth_Nomers and Im_Pervections by Robert Asprin

Author:Robert Asprin [Asprin, Robert]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fantasy, Fiction, Science Fiction, General
ISBN: 9780441014613
Google: Qb1QHmfWSR8C
Amazon: 0898655293
Publisher: Ace Books
Published: 2006-12-26T06:41:40+00:00

Chapter Twelve:

“HOLY BATSHIT, FATMAN! I mean . . . ”

-ROBIN

“I . . . THINK I'VE made a tactic . . . tad . . . an error, ” I whispered with as much dignity as I could muster.

“You can say that again, ” Kalvin shot back mercilessly. “You forgot the first rule of survival: Don't tease the animals. Look, Skeeve, do you want to get out of here, or do you want to get out with your money?”

“Want . . . my money. ” I wasn't that drunk . . . or maybe I was. The Djin rolled his eyes in exasperation.

“I was afraid of that. That's going to be a little rougher. Okay, the first thing you do is get that gold out of sight. I don't think they'll try anything in here. There are too many witnesses, which means too many ways to split the loot. ” I obediently began to pick up the coins. My hands seemed to lack the dexterity necessary to lead them back into my moneybelt, so I settled for shoving them into my pockets as best I could.

The bar was no longer silent. There was a low murmur going around that sounded ominous even in my condition as various knots of patrons put their heads together. Even without the dark looks they kept shooting in my direction it wasn't hard to guess what the subject of their conversation was.

“The way I see it, if there's going to be trouble, it will hit when we leave. That means the trick is to leave without their knowing it. Order another pitcher. ” That's when I realized how much I'd already had to drink. For a moment there, I thought the Djin had said . . .

“You want me to . . . ”

“. . . Order another pitcher, but whatever you do, don't drink any of it. ”

That made even less sense, but I followed his instructions and gestured at the bartender who delivered another pitcher with impressive speed. I paid him from my pocket.

-“I don't get it, ” I said. “Why should I order a pitcher when you say I shouldn't . . . ”

“Shut up and listen, ” Kalvin hissed. “That was so every body watching you will think you're planning to stick around for a while. In the meantime, we move. ” That made even less sense than having some more to drink.

“But, Kalvin . . . most of them are between us and the door! They'll see me . . . ”

“Not out the front door, stupid! You see that little hallway in back? That leads to the restrooms. There's also an exit back there which probably opens into an alley. That's the route we''re taking. ”

“How do you know there's an exit back there?” I said suspiciously.

“Because one of the things I do when I come into a new bar is count the exits, ” the Djin retorted. “It's a habit I suggest you develop if you're going to keep drinking.

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